In The Eyes of a Granddaughter: Remembering One of the Greatest Women Who Ever Lived

Grandma's 80th Birthday Celebration, 09/30/2006

It's hard to know where to begin this post, I could write or talk about my Grandmother for days, weeks even.  She was a strong, elegant, beautiful, faithful, radiant, virtuous woman.  Everything most women could only hope to be and more.  She was a daughter, a sister, a mother, a wife, a grandmother, a great grandmother, a great-great grandmother, an aunt, a sister-in-law, a friend and an obedient follower of Jesus Christ.  She leaves behind 7 children, 24 grandchildren, 33 great grandchildren and 2 great-great grandchildren.  More importantly, she leaves behind a legacy.  Grandma was the cornerstone of our family.  She always had a warm smile to greet anyone; she loved without limits or expectations, she loved unconditionally and continuously.  She never gave up on any of her children or grandchildren, no matter how bad the circumstances were, and believe me, there have been some extremely rough ones over the years.  She was forgiving, no matter what or how bad someone had hurt her, and she was always willing to reconcile.  She believed in living your life as an example for your family, she didn't just talk the talk, she walked the walk.  Her last words of advise to me were "Cassie, you have one thing to do in this world, to make sure those boys of yours are Christians.  Live your life as a godly example so that they grow up knowing the Lord.  Stay in church and make sure your soul is ready."  I cannot imagine a more important mission in life, or a better piece of advise.
Losing my Grandma has been one of the most painful experiences in my 30 years of existence.  I've lost a father, two friends and some distant relatives.  But this loss was hard to bear.  My Grandma helped raise me.  While my single mom was working hard, taking master's classes or staying late for board meetings, my Grandma was taking care of my brothers and I.  She really did spoil me, too.  What 10 year old do you know gets served T-bone steak and eggs for breakfast?!  This girl.  My favorite memories are of Grandma and I lounging in our nightgowns, relaxing after dinner, reading books in her old bed like two old ladies, but I was just a little girl.  Every time I stayed the night she'd wash my hair, comb it out (quite a feat considering my hair was to my waist), and then she would meticulously part my hair, braid it into small braids, rolling the end of each braid in a curler.  The next morning she'd help me unroll the curlers and undo the braids.  The result was a glorious mane of chestnut waves and curls. 

My baby shower 02/2008

Of course, she was also an amazing cook.  She had a magic touch in the kitchen; her cakes, made from catch, were always baked to perfection, delicate and moist with a smooth coat of homemade icing.  Her fried barbecue chicken was legendary and unmatched.  Her famous "dressing", that's what we call stuffing, will be dearly missed at Thanksgiving next week, but not nearly as much as her presence.  It's hard to imagine a family dinner without my Grandmother there.  She has always been there.  What amazes me about her is how she managed to always be there for all of her children and grandchildren over the years.  Every wedding, bridal and baby shower, birthday party, high school and college graduations, soccer games, dance recitals, baptisms, the list goes on.  She would not miss anything, and she managed to do this for our entire family.  She would travel from country to city, from coast to coast, so that she would not miss an event for her grandchildren or great grandchildren.  When you include spouses, there's roughly 82 of us, and that's the "immediate" family.  No second cousins, just her 7 children and their families.  She also found a way to make each and everyone of her grandchildren feel special in some way to her that was unique to the rest.  It takes a very special woman to accomplish this.
Grandma also had a great since of humor.  She loved to dress up in ridiculous costumes/makeup to make people laugh, and even while she was on her death bed when asked if she needed anything she answered "yes, a hair dresser."  That will bring a smile to my face for the rest of my days.

Three Generations
My Wedding Day 07/17/2004

Grandma took pride in her appearance.  I mentioned she was elegant and beautiful.  This was no overstatement.  She was always dressed so classy and fashionable, no old lady moo-moos for her.  Her purses, shoes and jewelry accessorized and complimented each outfit she wore.  She went to the beauty salon every Friday to have her hair done up until the last three weeks of her life.  I could only dream of looking as good as she did throughout her lifetime.
On the other hand, my Grandmother could have worn burlap and twine and she still would have radiated a room with her beauty.  The way she loved so openly, deeply and unconditionally is what I admired most about her.  If one of her children or grandchildren screwed up, she may have been disappointed, but she never gave up.  She continued to love and encourage them until they were back on their feet.  She had a bedtime ritual that she performed: praying over her family every single night.  She named off her children one by one and each of their children and his/her families.  That is dedication and love at its finest.  She sacrificed most of what she had until the very end of her life to help her children when they were in need.  She could have been selfish, could have set some of her land or money aside and retired young and lived a comfortable, easier life.  Instead, she divided the land between her seven children and moved into a modest home in town.  She worked up until a few months before she died.  I remember one time when I was very young and spent the afternoon with Grandma at the store she managed in town.  A young couple walked in with a baby no more than two years old in their arms.  They looked dirty, scruffy, neither of them were wearing shoes.  My Grandma silently started filling bags with all sorts of toiletries: shampoos, soaps, toothpaste, toothbrushes; clothing, shoes, etc.  Then as the couple and their baby started to leave my Grandma handed them the bags and told them not to worry about it.  She was so compassionate.
My days are filled with memories now.  Her words of wisdom and pieces of advise echo in my head throughout each day.  When I cook, I think of her.  When I wipe my son's snotty nose, I think of her and how she must of done that a thousand times and then some for children and grandchildren.  I miss her.  I will always miss her until that day when we will meet again.  It's so bittersweet to reflect on what has happened over the last two weeks.  I lost my Grandmother.  A rock and a role model in my life.  But I'm so grateful to have such a big, amazing family, and a God that was present throughout everything. I'm thankful that I had a chance to tell her how much I loved her one more time, a chance to say good-bye, as painful as it was, it's a gift not everyone has the chance to do in this life.  I will treasure that gift always.
Watch this video for amazing footage of my Grandmother: Betty Stephens Celebration

October: Disappointment and Redemption - Cardinals, Camping and Embracing 30

Babler State Park

I could, or let's say for the sake of my audience's time, should break this post up into four or five, but instead I'll do my best to summarize one my favorite times of the year into one post.  I mentioned this in my last post, but I'll say it again: the fall season, particularly the month of October, is my favorite time of the year.  Cool, crisp temperatures, beautiful fall foliage, camping, post-season baseball, all things pumpkin and oh yeah, my birthday!  Despite the drought we had this summer, I believe this fall turned out to be one of the most beautiful foliages I've seen in recent years.  I LOVE to drive through Missouri and take in all of the bright fall colors of orange, red, yellow and gold.  I also love planting some of my favorite fall plants, mums.  You can buy them almost anywhere, the grocery store, garden centers, green houses, etc.  I like to purchase mine from the Amish greenhouse in Leadmine / Tunas, Mo.  They have a huge selection of sizes in almost every color imaginable, along with "doubles" - two colors in one pot.  Here's a peak at the four I planted this season.


Camping - Eddie and I wanted to take at least one fall camping trip this year.  So on a whim we packed up and set out for Babler State Park, just on the western most edge of St. Louis County, about a 40 minute drive for us.  This was our first time at this park and it's an experience worth repeating.  It's a gorgeous area this time of year, and a very family friendly park.  We got lucky as we set out with no reservations.  When we arrived the campsites were mostly packed, but we drove around and found a culdesac of  four sites with electric, all available!   A few hours later, the culdesac was full.  Talk about great timing!  This park offers miles of bike trails, equestrian and hiking trails.  One couple that was taking a stroll stopped at our site and mentioned that when they had made reservations at the end of August there were only two sites left!  God opened up a door for us because there had obviously been some last minute cancellations to allow us a campsite.  It was also the night of a meteor shower, however; I wasn't able to stay up late enough to see them - maybe next year.  We had a relaxing, fun, fall family outing.

Disappointment

Two nights later, I sullenly watched my Redbirds give up their third straight loss to send the San Francisco Giants to the World Series.  This was also on the eve of my 30th birthday, needless to say, I was extremely disappointed.  Not the way I wanted to end the 2012 baseball season, or my 20s.  

Redemption & Embracing 30

Thanks to my amazing husband and awesome family and friends, my birthday turned out to be an unforgettable event.  My husband got up hours before dawn to make my favorite breakfast before he left for work, whole wheat pancakes and bacon - YUM!  The entire day I was bombarded (in a good way) with phone calls, voicemails, emails, texts and Facebook posts wishing me a happy birthday.  Since the morning was cold and rainy I took my boys to West County Mall to buy a new sweater and let them burn off some energy at the indoor play area for kids.  That evening my in-laws came over to the house to watch the boys and put them to bed while Eddie took me to dinner.  This is where my birthday gets really good!  The rainy morning had given way to a warm, sunny fall afternoon / evening.  So when we arrived at Square One Brewery and Restaurant we chose their beautiful patio to dine; and when we walked out I was surprised by a table full of my dear friends!!  I was so shocked, and strangely, embarrassed:)  Something about being the center of attention unexpectedly...who knows.  Eddie had been scheming this little surprise for weeks.  I had a second surprise when the servers brought out two Gooey Butter Cheesecakes covered in candles from the Blue Owl Bakery.  Thank you, Beth!  Eddie told me my fabulous friend, Beth, had helped with a lot of the planning - the cakes were all her idea, and a tasty one at that!  Laura made me a pan of peanut butter bars - YUM, and I had the best birthday yet; congregating, celebrating and catching up with some great friends.  The entire experience made it pretty easy and exciting to embrace the big 3 - 0.

Fall Feild Trip and Halloween

Two days after my birthday, Ben's preschool took a fall field trip to a local greenhouse and garden center in south St. Louis called, For the Garden.  Ben and his classmates got to learn all about bats, paint a pumpkin, explore a maze and take silly pictures.

Last, but not least, October wraps up with the fun holiday.  No religious or national significance, just a day dedicated to dressing up, eating sweets, carving pumpkins and telling jokes (a St. Louis thing).  This year I borrowed costumes from my cousin, Nichole, and the boys suited up as some of their favorite superheroes: Batman and Robin!  I got to spend the morning as a parent host at Ben's preschool party where the kids dressed in costume, played games, made crafts, and of course, snacked on sweets.  That evening we carved a Jack-O-Lantern while watching The Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown, visited Grandma and Grandpa Rickard, Trick-or-Treated in the neighborhood and handed out candy.

I had started this post with the intention of including all of my fall favorites, but for the sake of time, I decided to include one "fall favorite" in a series of upcoming posts.  Next week I'll be sharing about my week of Pinterest, along with my Fall Harvest Soup recipe. Cheers!

MTMOYMC - Recap and Other Happenings in the Rickard House

Although the three week challenge of Make the Most of Your Mornings has officially expired, I see it as an ongoing, daily "challenge" for me.  With the arrival of fall comes a busy schedule for our family: a lot of family birthdays (almost always out of town), hunting season = more traveling, preschool has commenced for Ben, etc.  I've also joined a small group from our church, Rooftop Community Church, and we meet one night a week to have fellowship, deeper community, accountability and to encourage one another.  Right now we are studying the book: Waking the Dead: the Glory of a Heart Fully Alive, by John Eldridge.  So far we've only read and discussed the first two chapters, and already I can say this book is a MUST read, a REVOLUTIONARY book for me, and any Christian that wants/needs insight on spiritual warfare.  I'm excited to see what else the Lord will reveal to me through this book, his Word and our small group.

Nolan's first Cardinals Game - October 3, last home game of the regular season

Oh yeah, there's also some local sports team that's made the post-season playoffs, something about Red October:)?  You might be familiar with the St. Louis Cardinals?!  We continue to cheer them on and hope that the Redbirds will capture a twelfth World Series title in 2012, no less.
I do love fall!  Camping, cool weather, the natural beauty of the seasons changing, pumpkin anything/everything, warm hearty soups, the list goes on.  OK, back to that MTMOYMC, as I said, I see it as an ongoing challenge.  I desire to begin each day that God gives me with the right start.  For me, that means rising early, before dawn, spending quiet time, all alone with God and his Word, just me and Him; hopefully a little exercise to get me energized and to help me FEEL more confident for the day ahead; etc. This gives me peace, clarity, energy, and a more positive mind set.  As I'm writing this update I realize that it's past my bedtime to get that early start, and that has been a big struggle for me lately.  From getting home late due to ballgames and small group, to getting woke up 3-4 times a night by my teething one year old, I have to say that I'm struggling big time with meeting my early rise time.  When I don't rise early, a lot of things happen out of order, or just don't get done at all.  I mean it when I say, if I want any alone time it has to come before dawn or it will not happen.  "Sleeping in" in our house is 7 AM, seriously.  People that have known me for a long time, like back in my adolescent days, know how hard of an adjustment this has been for me.  I used to sleep until 10 AM, or later!  The idea of that happening now is actually disturbing, what a waste of precious morning time, but still, I wouldn't mind being able to rise at 7 AM every day and still have a good hour before my boys are up.  Oh well, God has other plans:)  I will continue to strive to be an early riser and to MTMOMM, and hope that over time this will be less of a "challenge" and just mere habit!
Other happenings in the Rickard House: Nolan has taken his first step, TONIGHT actually!!  Yes, my sweet 14 month old baby boy actually let go of the table and took a step toward none other than his big brother, Benny. A very proud moment for us!  Also, Nolan has 14 teeth now - part of the contribution to poor sleeping:(  The poor guy has never gotten one tooth at a time, they usually come in fours, or more.  Hopefully he'll be finished for a long time after the last 4 come in.  I think that's right - hard to do math at 10:30 PM for this mamma.
Benjamin continues to make us laugh and amazes us with his clever creativity.  He is such an outgoing, social and sweet boy.  He actually tells me that I'm pretty, or that my hair is pretty, on a regular basis.  He knows how to charm his mamma:)  He also makes us very proud with what a loving, protective and kind big brother he is.  I just know that he and Nolan will be best friends all of their lives.  They are already so close that if one of them is upset or crying, the other one is as well.  They play together, laugh together and yes, sometimes cry together.  Ben cannot wait until Nolan can "talk to him".  That day is coming, soon I hope!
Eddie and I are just grateful for how the Lord continues to bless us.  We have all that we need and more, we are incredibly BLESSED.  Cheers, and happy reading!
BTW, I will post some new pics of the boys VERY soon from a photo shoot they had last month.  SO CUTE!

Day 14 - Make the Most of Your Mornings Challenge

I realized that updating my blog on the progress of the "Make the Most of Your Mornings" challenge is my accountability, so here is how it's been going since day 1.
You know how I mentioned that my two boys are early birds?  Well, there have been several days when I rise as early as I possibly can, only to realize one, if not both, of my boys are already up as well.  Yeah, so much for 'alone time'.  But that's OK!  I've learned that you have to roll with the punches and make adjustments, but don't assume the whole day is lost.  This also goes for 'falling off the wagon'; it really is OK, dust yourself off and start again the next day.  I think it's important to know that life is always unpredictable, especially with young children in the house, and if you can't be flexible then you're going to get frustrated and be disappointed.   Crystal has posts on her blog to address each one of these issues.  It's normal, it happens, and you can recover. Money Saving Mom - Make the Most of Your Mornings
So, what are the most important things I've learned so far?  If I don't go to bed by 10 PM I can forget rising before 6 AM the next morning.  I require at least 7 hours of sleep to function well the next day.  I learned the hard way this summer that if I let my body get run down, there will be consequences.  I have piles of hospital bills to prove it:)  After spending 4 days in the hospital and being down and out for 3 weeks recovering from PNEUMONIA, I have learned the importance of REST.  Allowing your body to get the rest it needs affects every aspect of your life.  You will be a better mother, employee, wife, friend and so on, if you make rest a priority.  What good will it do if I stay up hours at night trying to finish cleaning, reading, etc, if it means I may not be around at all tomorrow??  Yes, my illness was that serious!

Lesson #2: If you can't beat 'em, take 'em with!  If Ben and Nolan are up in the morning before I've gotten a morning workout in, I try to find a physical activity that includes them.  After this happened once I realized it's actually more fun to include them in my workout, sometimes.  Now, on Tuesday and Thursdays I load them in our bike trailer and set out for a nice ride through our neighborhood.  Tuesdays and Thursdays work best for the morning bike ride because Ben has preschool on M W F.  If you could see my neighborhood, one ginormous hill after another, and bearing in mind I'm towing an extra 90+ lbs behind me, you would probably understand why our bike rides last no longer than 30 minutes:)  On a nice Saturday morning or Sunday afternoon we head down to Grant's Trail because it's scenic, perfect for cyclists, close to our house, and it's FLAT.  Mommy can pedal a lot further and faster on the Trail.

All in all, I'm enjoying this challenge so far and really hope that I'll continue to make progress into "Making the Most of My Mornings".  When I start my day right: rested, as early as possible, with exercise, and meditating with God and his Word, the rest of my day tends to go smoother.
Things to work on:

• Meeting my 9:30 - 10ish bedtime every night 
• Keeping the boys in a good bedtime routine so that they'll hopefully sleep until 6:30, or later:)
• Really focus on exercising first so that I can shower and change before the rest of my day begins

Cheers!

Day 1: Money Saving Mom's "Make the Most of Your Mornings" Challenge

I recently started following the Money Saving Mom Blog.  This blog not only empowers and inspires women to be better stewards of their finances, but of their homes as well.  I found her recent "Make the Most of Your Mornings" challenge to be very encouraging and something that I need to incorporate into my daily routine.  (What routine??)  Exactly.  So, today is day 1 for me.  I am taking the challenge and began my morning at 5:35 AM.  Yep, you read that correctly.  And I started it with a bang: 30 minutes of cardio on the treadmill.  I felt energized and ready to take charge of this challenge, as well as my household.  If you'd like to read more about this challenge, and accept the mission, here is the link to read all of the helpful tidbits.Money Saving Mom's "Make the Most of Your Morning" 3 Week Challenge  Last night I made sure to make out my 5 'must dos' before bedtime, and although my bedtime goal was 9:30, I made it by 10.  Not bad for the first attempt.  I also made sure I had Ben's clothes laid out for his first day of preschool, and I had my workout gear laid out so that as soon as I got out of bed I put it all on.  NO excuses not to start the morning with some exercise.  My kids are early birds, always have been, so unless I'm up before dawn I will not have ANY alone time in the morning.  I liked getting my exercise out of the way so that I won't find a million excuses NOT to workout today.  It also gets my blood pumping and those feel good endorphins going.  Ben was up by 6:15 so I had to postpone my shower to whip up some pancakes for him.  After showering, dressing in something 'that makes me feel good', and downing some hotcakes myself, I sat down with my cup of coffee and did my morning devotional - reading God's word.  By this time Nolan is up and my day continues....I hope to give regular updates on how this challenging is going, not just to encourage other women to try it, but to also hold myself accountable.  Cheers, and happy reading!

Old Friends & Apple Pie

Raelyn & Ben @the Lion King

Over the Labor Day holiday, we had a fun filled weekend packed with family time and catching up with old friends.  Saturday night, Eddie, Benjamin and I met up with my best friend, Rhiannon, her husband, two children, and her parents, niece and nephews.  Rhiannon and I have known each other since junior high, after I moved to Buffalo, Mo, and started attending youth group at Calvary Chapel.  However, our friendship didn't blossom to the deep connection we have today until after high school.  Through my close relationship with her mother, Shirley, the former youth leader at Calvary Chapel; and similar life events, not to mention our mutual appreciation for Aerosmith, Cher and chocolate, Rhiannon and I bonded.  The bond hasn't been broken and continues to deepen as we've married, moved several hundred miles away from each other, celebrated and sympathized with one another through the pregnancies and births of four children (two for her, two for me:), and encouraged each other through our spiritual walk with Christ.  Needless to say, seeing all of them this weekend was revitalizing, to say the least.  We attended the Broadway production of Disney's the Lion King at the Fabulous Fox Theater, this is a MUST SEE, and the theater itself is breathtaking.  On Sunday we survived a family trip to the Magic House, (note to self: holiday weekend+rainy weather+free entry with school supplies=MADNESS at the Magic House).  We concluded the day by unwinding and refueling at one of our favorite St. Louis pizza places, Fortel's Pizza Den.
On Monday, Eddie, the boys and I met his parents at Suson Park for a family picnic.  Eddie's mom insisted on not just bringing the meat (fried chicken), but the sides as well.  She told me all I needed to bring was the desert.  Of course, I must go all out and bring one heck of a desert if she's doing the rest of the work.  Homemade apple pie sounded appropriate, so I sat out to find the best homemade apple pie recipe possible.  I had two requirements: it must use a double crust recipe, and it has to include fresh apples, not canned.  It wasn't hard to find a tantalizing recipe via Pinterest, and below is a link to the recipe as well as a picture.  I made only a few modifications: I added a 1/2 tsp of cinnamon (can't have apple pie without cinnamon in my opinion), and I used salted butter and butter flavored shortening in the crust recipe.  The family was impressed and I received rave reviews.  I'll definitely file this recipe away to use at Thanksgiving.  Thank you, Pinterest, and CountryLiving! 


Apple Pie Recipe (Country Living via Pinterest)

Pastry:

• 2 1/2 cup(s) all-purpose flour
• 1/2 teaspoon(s) salt
• 10 tablespoon(s) cold butter (salted) or margarine, cut up
• 6 tablespoon(s) vegetable shortening (butter flavor)
• 6 1/2 tablespoon(s) ice water

Apple Filling:

• 2/3 cup(s) sugar
• 1/3 cup(s) cornstarch
• 1/2 teaspoon(s) ground cinnamon
• 1/4 teaspoon(s) nutmeg
• 1/4 teaspoon(s) salt
• 3 1/2 pound(s) Granny Smith, Golden Delicious, and/or Braeburn apples, each peeled, cored, and cut into 16 wedges
• 1 tablespoon(s) fresh lemon juice
• 2 tablespoon(s) butter or margarine, cut up
• 1 large egg white, lightly beaten
• 1 teaspoon(s) sugar
• 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

---

Directions

1. To prepare pastry: In food processor with knife blade attached, blend flour and salt. Add butter and shortening, and pulse until mixture resembles coarse crumbs. Sprinkle in ice water, 1 tablespoon at a time, pulsing after each addition, until large moist crumbs just begin to form.
2. Shape dough into 2 balls, 1 slightly larger. Flatten each into a disk; wrap each in plastic wrap and refrigerate 30 minutes or overnight. (If chilled overnight, let stand 30 minutes at room temperature before rolling.)
3. Meanwhile, preheat oven to 400 degrees. Place cookie sheet on rack in lower third of preheating oven to bake pie on later. To prepare apple filling: In large bowl, combine sugar with cornstarch, cinnamon, nutmeg, and salt. Add apples and lemon juice, and toss to coat evenly.
4. On lightly floured surface, with floured rolling pin, roll larger disk of dough into 12-inch round. Ease dough into 9 1/2-inch deep-dish glass or ceramic pie plate. Gently press dough against bottom and up side of plate without stretching. Trim dough edge, leaving 1-inch overhang; reserve trimmings. Spoon apple mixture into pie crust; dot with butter.
5. Roll remaining disk for top crust into 12-inch round. Center round over filling in bottom crust. Trim pastry edge, leaving 1-inch overhang; reserve trimmings. Fold overhang under; bring up over pie-plate rim and pinch to form stand-up edge, then make decorative edge. Brush crust with some egg white. Reroll trimmings. With knife or cookie cutters, cut out apple and/or leaf shapes; arrange on pie. Cut short slashes in round to allow steam to escape during baking. Brush cutouts with egg white, then sprinkle crust and cutouts with sugar.
6. Bake pie 1 hour 10 minutes or until apples are tender when pierced with knife through slits in crust. To prevent over-browning, cover pie loosely with tent of foil after 40 minutes. Cool pie on wire rack 3 hours to serve warm. Or cool completely to serve later.

Not bad for my 1st homemade apple pie

New and improved?

Over the last two years life has changed dramatically. I went from a full-time working momma of a sweet two year old boy, to a stay-at-home / work part-time from home mother of TWO beautiful boys; survived a major home remodeling project, and celebrated two more years of marital bliss. As I'm still adjusting to my new lifestyle and routine, I've found more and more people use blogging not just to inform, but to inspire, encourage and entertain fellow friends, family and perfect strangers. Writing has always been my 'creative outlet', (well, that and cooking), so I'm dedicating my former "All About the Benjamin" blog page to a new attempt at venting, sharing and hopefully uplifting anyone who happens upon my humble, but newly renovated blog. Cheers, and happy reading!