In The Eyes of a Granddaughter: Remembering One of the Greatest Women Who Ever Lived

Grandma's 80th Birthday Celebration, 09/30/2006

It's hard to know where to begin this post, I could write or talk about my Grandmother for days, weeks even.  She was a strong, elegant, beautiful, faithful, radiant, virtuous woman.  Everything most women could only hope to be and more.  She was a daughter, a sister, a mother, a wife, a grandmother, a great grandmother, a great-great grandmother, an aunt, a sister-in-law, a friend and an obedient follower of Jesus Christ.  She leaves behind 7 children, 24 grandchildren, 33 great grandchildren and 2 great-great grandchildren.  More importantly, she leaves behind a legacy.  Grandma was the cornerstone of our family.  She always had a warm smile to greet anyone; she loved without limits or expectations, she loved unconditionally and continuously.  She never gave up on any of her children or grandchildren, no matter how bad the circumstances were, and believe me, there have been some extremely rough ones over the years.  She was forgiving, no matter what or how bad someone had hurt her, and she was always willing to reconcile.  She believed in living your life as an example for your family, she didn't just talk the talk, she walked the walk.  Her last words of advise to me were "Cassie, you have one thing to do in this world, to make sure those boys of yours are Christians.  Live your life as a godly example so that they grow up knowing the Lord.  Stay in church and make sure your soul is ready."  I cannot imagine a more important mission in life, or a better piece of advise.
Losing my Grandma has been one of the most painful experiences in my 30 years of existence.  I've lost a father, two friends and some distant relatives.  But this loss was hard to bear.  My Grandma helped raise me.  While my single mom was working hard, taking master's classes or staying late for board meetings, my Grandma was taking care of my brothers and I.  She really did spoil me, too.  What 10 year old do you know gets served T-bone steak and eggs for breakfast?!  This girl.  My favorite memories are of Grandma and I lounging in our nightgowns, relaxing after dinner, reading books in her old bed like two old ladies, but I was just a little girl.  Every time I stayed the night she'd wash my hair, comb it out (quite a feat considering my hair was to my waist), and then she would meticulously part my hair, braid it into small braids, rolling the end of each braid in a curler.  The next morning she'd help me unroll the curlers and undo the braids.  The result was a glorious mane of chestnut waves and curls. 

My baby shower 02/2008

Of course, she was also an amazing cook.  She had a magic touch in the kitchen; her cakes, made from catch, were always baked to perfection, delicate and moist with a smooth coat of homemade icing.  Her fried barbecue chicken was legendary and unmatched.  Her famous "dressing", that's what we call stuffing, will be dearly missed at Thanksgiving next week, but not nearly as much as her presence.  It's hard to imagine a family dinner without my Grandmother there.  She has always been there.  What amazes me about her is how she managed to always be there for all of her children and grandchildren over the years.  Every wedding, bridal and baby shower, birthday party, high school and college graduations, soccer games, dance recitals, baptisms, the list goes on.  She would not miss anything, and she managed to do this for our entire family.  She would travel from country to city, from coast to coast, so that she would not miss an event for her grandchildren or great grandchildren.  When you include spouses, there's roughly 82 of us, and that's the "immediate" family.  No second cousins, just her 7 children and their families.  She also found a way to make each and everyone of her grandchildren feel special in some way to her that was unique to the rest.  It takes a very special woman to accomplish this.
Grandma also had a great since of humor.  She loved to dress up in ridiculous costumes/makeup to make people laugh, and even while she was on her death bed when asked if she needed anything she answered "yes, a hair dresser."  That will bring a smile to my face for the rest of my days.

Three Generations
My Wedding Day 07/17/2004

Grandma took pride in her appearance.  I mentioned she was elegant and beautiful.  This was no overstatement.  She was always dressed so classy and fashionable, no old lady moo-moos for her.  Her purses, shoes and jewelry accessorized and complimented each outfit she wore.  She went to the beauty salon every Friday to have her hair done up until the last three weeks of her life.  I could only dream of looking as good as she did throughout her lifetime.
On the other hand, my Grandmother could have worn burlap and twine and she still would have radiated a room with her beauty.  The way she loved so openly, deeply and unconditionally is what I admired most about her.  If one of her children or grandchildren screwed up, she may have been disappointed, but she never gave up.  She continued to love and encourage them until they were back on their feet.  She had a bedtime ritual that she performed: praying over her family every single night.  She named off her children one by one and each of their children and his/her families.  That is dedication and love at its finest.  She sacrificed most of what she had until the very end of her life to help her children when they were in need.  She could have been selfish, could have set some of her land or money aside and retired young and lived a comfortable, easier life.  Instead, she divided the land between her seven children and moved into a modest home in town.  She worked up until a few months before she died.  I remember one time when I was very young and spent the afternoon with Grandma at the store she managed in town.  A young couple walked in with a baby no more than two years old in their arms.  They looked dirty, scruffy, neither of them were wearing shoes.  My Grandma silently started filling bags with all sorts of toiletries: shampoos, soaps, toothpaste, toothbrushes; clothing, shoes, etc.  Then as the couple and their baby started to leave my Grandma handed them the bags and told them not to worry about it.  She was so compassionate.
My days are filled with memories now.  Her words of wisdom and pieces of advise echo in my head throughout each day.  When I cook, I think of her.  When I wipe my son's snotty nose, I think of her and how she must of done that a thousand times and then some for children and grandchildren.  I miss her.  I will always miss her until that day when we will meet again.  It's so bittersweet to reflect on what has happened over the last two weeks.  I lost my Grandmother.  A rock and a role model in my life.  But I'm so grateful to have such a big, amazing family, and a God that was present throughout everything. I'm thankful that I had a chance to tell her how much I loved her one more time, a chance to say good-bye, as painful as it was, it's a gift not everyone has the chance to do in this life.  I will treasure that gift always.
Watch this video for amazing footage of my Grandmother: Betty Stephens Celebration