January 21 was the one year anniversary of when I left my full-time job after Eddie and I decided it was best for our family that I stay home with our boys. I remember being so eager and excited, and also having so many dreams and ideas of how my home would improve - becoming more organized, would always be clean, the laundry would always be caught up and the boys and I would have one fun playdate after another! As I was leaving my old job, and talking excitedly about the projects I was going to complete around the house someone said "yeah, let me know how that works out for you." Coming from a father of three who's wife stays home, I had no idea how right he was. I literally LOL when I look at how naive I was about how liberating, fun and exciting it would be to stay home with my children ALL of the time, and become an amazing house wife.
Just last week I hugged Eddie with tears in my eyes and said "maybe I'm just not meant to stay home. I suck. I'm not good at this domestic stuff." He just laughed and told me I'm doing fine. So, for those mothers out there that are envious of those "green" earthy, mammas that stay at home and hangout at parks and sip lattes, and then go home and prop up there feet while their children play quietly in their super clean, organized house - it is NOTHING like that, at all:) Yes, I wasn't completely naive. I knew that staying home would be a new challenge, I knew that I would have to adjust from being a strong financial contributor to our househould outside the home, to being a devoted mom and housewife. The first few weeks I remember thinking "so this is it?" It's hard to explain, but I felt a little lost at first. I was so used to having my job, my desk, my computer, my paycheck, my commute, my successes and failures in the workforce, AND the joys and challenges of motherhood, cooking, cleaning, etc. Now, it's the children and the home that I have to focus on.
Well here I am, one year later. I really can't say that my house is any cleaner (because it's not), or that I'm more organized. I've always enjoyed cooking so the fact that we have fresh, hot cooked meals everyday isn't new. But, I have learned a lot about appreciating how CHALLENGING it is to be a full-time SAHM. It is not glamorous. I don't walk around the house or neighborhood w/my moby wrap and latte, calm and cool with no worries. Don't get me wrong. I get out of the house a lot with my children, but I'll get to that more later.
Being a SAHM means you are with your children 24/7, 365. Unless of course you schedule a night away with a baby-sitter, or the grandparents. I know some moms say they would give anything to have this opportunity, and I believe them. I know, I've been that envious mom. But reality has set in. It is not at all easy. I clean up one mess to turn around and find three new messes behind me! The children want your undevided attention every second of the day, because you're THERE so what else could be more important? Oh, I don't know, say 8 loads of dirty laundry piling up?! To add to the challenging dynamic of being a SAHM, I pursued and was given an opportunity last July to work part-time from home. I've said it before, I'm very greatful I have this opportunity as it gives me something that is my own and it allows me to contribute financially to our household, while keeping my resume and skills current. But believe me, trying to squeeze in just two hours of uninterrupted work while managing your house and caring for your children is mucher harder than it sounds.
I change poopy diapers, wipe snotty noses, sweep up crumbs 10 times a day, everyday. It's not glamorous, it's very hard some days, but I do LOVE it. Call me crazy, but I know that in a very short time my boys will be too old to want to sit on my lap while I read a story. They won't want to hold my hand while we walk down the street. They won't come crying when they skin their knee on the playground, and they'll be "too old" for me to sing them a lullaby at bedtime. It's true you are still a full-time mom when you work outside the home, and you're still the one that gets to do all of the things I mentioned above. But I am making memories and learning so much from my children and about my children when I'm home all day with them. I've also learned to appreciate those moms that keep a clean house, work a garden, homeschool their children and cook dinner everyday. It's harder and busier than anyone realizes that's never been in their shoes. Whether you're a SAHM or a full-time working mom, or a part-time working mom, what you do does matter. You are raising God's most prized possessions to be contributing members of society, to be lights in a dark world. So whether you're with them 16 hours a day or 5 hours a day, make the most of every minute, treasure this time and love your children. Appreciate everything they offer, even if it's a dirty kitchen floor:) They will be grown and gone before we realize it.
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